Renewal, in the house and in our perspective

This week has been a week of renewal at the prayer house. Yesterday and today, the student team spent most of the day at the prayer house, cleaning, talking, praying, organizing. It was good. It was slow. It was deep, almost prayerful, as we sorted and discarded, rearranged, shifted, cleaning out of the old to leave room for the new.

I am always awed by the way God moves in us, in our hearts and our imaginations. It is just the four of us in our leadership meetings, talking, spouting off ideas, not sure what-the-heck we’re really doing, trying to work it all out. But in it we are not alone. Every move we try to make, we step into it and find, God is there already, 10 steps ahead of us before we know how to begin. I have never felt so incredibly led. Strange that I say that, as I am in leadership.

But this is precisely what God has been telling me. He brought me a question several days ago, and so I asked him, What is our place as leadership? Can you show us our role in leading LoveOSU? From the moment I asked, he returned answers, over and over again the same thing: Your role is to press into me. Your role is to first seek me, and then the rest will happen. Do not seek to lead, simply let yourself be led. Burrow deep into the heart of the Father. This comes first.

It is so easy to be here. Not easy in the sense that there is no opposition, and that it is not difficult to stay here in the place of seeking. But I find myself at a place that is so natural, so freely set before me, that it cannot be my own doing. No, it cannot.

Today for the first time it dawned on me how very much we are not a solo moment in history. We, the current LoveOSU student leadership team. Of course we have known this, have talked about what is being passed on to us from previous “generations” of student leaders at LoveOSU. It has been often considered, as we prayerfully look to the past as a reference for how to move forward. But today, I think I understood, one step deeper. I was sitting on the kitchen floor, sorting through old papers, flyers, meeting notes, correspondences, thinking other thoughts about who we are as a leadership team, thinking [relatively arrogant] thoughts about how naturally we find ourselves here, thriving as a team and a community. But the pride suddenly left me, sucked completely away by a second thought that overwhelmed me with its weight. We are not here because of us. We are here because of them. These people, many people, prayer warriors, who have gone before us. Those who have, in the past, stood in the gap for campus and for LoveOSU. We are not here because we decided to be. We are not here even so much because God has called us. We are here because they were faithful. Certainly God has called us, each of us. I have no doubt of that. Certainly he has raised us up, beyond our strength, has placed his hand and his blessing on us. I can feel it; its evidence is dripping off of every last bit of this year. Certainly all of this is his incentive, not ours, not theirs. But the prayers that have gone out from this house, day after day, year after year, pleading with God for our campus, asking him to raise up leadership, asking him to continue his work—  Much as I would like to place myself as another of these intercessors, and claim to be joining their ranks of my own merit, I am suddenly floored by another reality: I am the fulfillment of their prayers.

  • December 16th, 2011
  • Posted in Blog